, The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora A: All the President's men. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. . Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. Q: Name three movements. (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Q: What do you call not getting busted? The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! envelopes. A: Gunga din. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your . Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. bathroom? In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? Sunday, 16 December 2018. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Images tagged "johnny carson". Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. The funny story above is a satire or parody. the audience will cheer. tissue. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? Inning. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Mouse over chart for play descriptions. A: Madame Kitty. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. Line: 208 Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? . Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Is that about right, sir? A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? Next. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. Box 4, Folder 45. A: Grape Nuts. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Skalliwags. [1] Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? Show"? May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. The character was introduced in 1964. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. B. A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. No more years! Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. you? Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? A: Chariots of the Gods. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. drip. A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Previous. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. A: The Rock of Gibralter. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. "Knickerbocker"Q. . CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, A: Ben Gay. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. on a country? While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. Q: How do you get it? Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? A: Snap, crackle, pop. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. Is that a reptile? Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? up your turban. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. Prime Video. Share. . Margaret's door? On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. . We are now officially the living who envy the dead! The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? Its hard to divine when you cant see. A: 2001. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Description. A: Until he gets caught. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? a #2 mayonnaise I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. dickory? , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. . Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? A: "Here's Boomer." Line: 68 A: The ZIP Code. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? Line: 478 Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? A: Eight is enough. Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. A: 2001. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." The crowd is hostile. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. (the curse). A: "Gung Ho!" Youre the straight man. alley? 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. A: The diamond lane. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. (Crowd cheers) #10. his neck? Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") A: Kaleidoscope. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. parents. A: Rough cut. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? The answer was always an outrageous pun. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess.